are you so shy because you have an std?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
