and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
