After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
