I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
