yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
