roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize