I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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