there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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