I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
