i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
