Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
