his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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