you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
