I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
