hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
