I only kidnapped one of them. chill
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
