Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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