just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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