if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
ttyl tear gas
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
