Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
