she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
