are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
