1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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