How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
