Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am available for nakedness
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
