Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
