maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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