they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
