i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
