I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
