he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My room smells like vodka and shame
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
