I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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