i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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