don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
