She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
