i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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