I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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