On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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