what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
