CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
