Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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