I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
