That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
