Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
