He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
