Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
