tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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