Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
