i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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