is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to calm my uterus...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
