The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
