so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
