we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
