this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
