Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
